Slow, Slow, Quick, Quick
I have been slowed down considerably by a back problem that affects my left leg. A recent adjustment helped a lot but I'm still not back to 100%. This has been frustrating, as I am not able to get all the things accomplished in a day that I normally do; it takes so much longer just to get from point A to point B. However, I decided that I would be glad to at least get some things done rather than accomplish nothing at all. Doesn't that sound wise of me? Easier said than done; this has turned out to be quite a 'patience tester' for a Type A personality that has a running and ever-growing list of 'to dos' in her head at all times.
Yesterday, because I tire more easily due to my gimpyness, I actually sat down and found myself writing again. I used to write blogs quite regularly but due to the busyness of life, the writing thing kept getting pushed down the list. Until I sat down and put my thoughts on 'paper' again, I didn't realize how therapeutic it is for me. I mean, that was just yesterday; and here I am writing again today.
I think some people just love to do one thing, and if they are able to that, they are satisfied. I, however, seem to be pulled in many directions in my life, sometimes feeling the ticking of the clock as the years go by, feeling rushed because there's so much more to read, to learn, to decorate, to write, to sing, to play, to cook, etc.
I think this time of 'slowness' is teaching me that in order to do make a beautiful dance in this life, one needs to learn the steps. The Fox Trot is an easy one to learn and it looks quite elegant on the dance floor; you know...Slow, Slow, Quick, Quick steps...that's all there is to it. Maybe if I remember this as 'dance of life', I'll quit burning the candle at both ends and make sure I get in those slow steps to provide balance and beauty in my life.
As a mental health provider, one would think this would be a 'no brainer', but it's funny how we often can't see when we're off kilter, isn't it? That's when the Slow, Slow steps are important, because we are then able to be a little more introspective and figure out what's going on in and around us. That's when we can evaluate our dance moves and figure out how to get back in the beautiful flow of life after out of step with ourselves and others.
So I'm consciously choosing that there is a gift tucked into this difficult time of healing. It actually takes the edge off the pain and frustration, prevents a good deal of the self-pity, and gives meaning to something that's otherwise unwanted and unavoidable. Fox Trot anyone?